Contingencies of Self-Worth

What are contingencies of self-worth?

Contingencies of self-worth are the conditions under which we feel good or bad about ourselves. They are the things that we believe we need to do or achieve in order to be worthy of love, respect, and happiness. These contingencies can be based on our appearance, our accomplishments, our relationships, or any other aspect of our lives. When we meet these contingencies, we feel good about ourselves. But when we don't, we feel bad about ourselves.

How do contingencies of self-worth develop?

Contingencies of self-worth develop in childhood. They are learned from our parents, our peers, and our culture. These contingencies can be explicit or implicit. Explicit contingencies are those that are directly stated to us, such as "You're only worthy of love if you get good grades." Implicit contingencies are those that are not directly stated, but are instead communicated through our experiences. For example, if we are always praised for our appearance, we may learn to believe that our worth is based on how we look.

What are the effects of contingencies of self-worth?

Contingencies of self-worth can have a significant impact on our lives. They can affect our self-esteem, our relationships, and our overall happiness. When we have high contingencies of self-worth, we are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems. We are also more likely to be self-critical and to compare ourselves to others. When we have low contingencies of self-worth, we are more likely to be confident, assertive, and happy. We are also more likely to be accepting of ourselves and others.

How can we change our contingencies of self-worth?

If we want to change our contingencies of self-worth, we need to first become aware of them. Once we know what our contingencies are, we can start to challenge them. We can ask ourselves if these contingencies are really true. Are they based on our own values? Or are they based on the values of others? Once we have challenged our contingencies, we can start to replace them with new, more positive contingencies. These new contingencies can be based on our own values and on what we truly believe about ourselves.